Indoor test matches, jigsaw, scrabble & flood driving

Good morning from a jolly flooded Somerset!

As I clambered into my truck this morning to come here there was a definite smell of very wet dog and on closer inspection it appeared that all but my own seat were a tad damp. The reason for this is that having thrown the three youngest loons into the truck to go and collect Nancy from her Saturday shift in the Smokery shop it became apparent that the amount of standing water on every lane around us was significant. Having collected Nancy and locked up at the Smokery we decided that some “flood driving” was necessary all under the guise of a home-schooling geography field trip. Two things happened in the space of about three minutes firstly a new sport was born and secondly all four loons regressed to four year olds who screamed a lot and were lost to hysterical excitement and laughter in equal measure! They insisted on having all the windows down (it was 40mph winds at the time) and I simply could not resist driving rather too quickly through huge puddles and semi flooded lanes. The new sport? Which loon could get the wettest as the water flew through the aforementioned open windows of the truck! The end result was that when we arrived home 20 minutes later Mrs P was somewhat surprised as the loons poured through the door and sprinted upstairs declaring they had to get changed whilst simultaneously filling the dirty clothes basket that had apparently reached that very rare state of emptiness not five minutes before! The height to which Mrs Ps eyebrows can rise has never ceased to amaze me BUT yesterday they broke all records! Just for the record Nancy won the wettest Loon competition.

It is somehow the last week of February which means that it is the last week of one of our most popular ever boxes The February Box being available and also the last week of our sides of salmon being on offer at their special prices of £35 delivered for a whole side of sliced smoked salmon or £32 delivered for our unsliced side of smoked salmon. You can order any of these things for any date you like in the future but in order to ensure you get these special offer prices you must order them by close of play next Sunday. So if you would like sides of salmon for Easter or a February box for the August bank holiday weekend you can have them at these prices but only if you order them this week. All our other goodies are available too on the website or just call Amber and I in the office Monday to Saturday 9am till 4pm on 01458 250875

Finally, as it was half term at Pattisson Towers this week I managed to very naughtily steal Thursday and Friday off. The weather meant that other than long dog walks with Olive the lurcher entertainment had to be sought inside. As Mrs P and I are such luddites we get a tad grumpy about the dreaded television being used as the foremost source of what we consider on the whole to be mindless entertainment. We tend to prove this to ourselves by marching into the living room standing in front of the said television and demanding of each loon what they are watching. The amount of times they literally cannot answer is extraordinary and has been known to lead to a reasonable amount of ranting and on more than one occasion a good bit of foaming at the mouth! To that end it has been an excellent few days of jigsaws, drawing competitions, gin rummy and scrabble. There are two other games that have been very popular. The first being indoor sponge ball cricket. I have convinced Charlie that it is excellent for everyone’s batting technique and she has convinced me that if anything gets broken she will kill me! We have had a number of extremely close fought test matches with Stan and Bert emerging victorious against Edie and I far too often. The final game I sadly have to report has had to be put away and hidden as it appeared to bring the very worst out of people and in some cases, naming no names, Nancy and Edith developed into what can only be described as a street gang culture thugs! I would never have thought that the small investment I made in such a genteel game as ‘carpet bowls’ could produce aggressive behaviour, cheating and gamesmanship as it has in this household? I have checked the packaging and there are no health warnings at all and all I can say is that in my experience there jolly ought to be!!

I must away as a joint of beef requires my attention with regard to preparation and the West Indies have just arrived to play England in a three test series. Have good rest of day and remember if anyone ever invites you round for a game of carpet bowls, take shin pads, a gum shield and a measuring tape!

My very, very best regards,