New June box & ramble!

I hope this finds you well and that this wonderful sunshine is keeping your spirits up in the good zone. I’m afraid I don’t know what number that is on the latest Government scale which I believe the country hinges on but on the basis that the lower the number the better I’m aiming at the floor for you!

It’s been a very, very warm week here at The Smokery with Amber and Steph demanding electric fans to keep their humour somewhere near bearable and poor old Tim looking like he has been wrung out by the end of every day having been stood by a roaring open fire for most of them. Tyna has caused a little bit of a stir with the shortness of her shorts, this is a competition you will be relieved to hear I have decided not to enter, as if I did, I think a possible arrest for exposure may follow! They are all in great order and judging by the merciless leg lifting at Friday’s cold beer team meeting nearly all at my expense, they are in excellent spirits too.
I am delighted this morning to introduce the new JUNE BOX
We have tried to come up with something that hopefully helps with alfresco dining, picnic subliming and cold cut divining!! (apologies for that I think the heat might be getting to me!)

It contains: –
140 g of Pastrami made with glorious British beef brisket
200g of Somerset traditional cheddar
4 pork and parsnip sausages (these have been roasted over an open fire so can be eaten as a cold cut or reheated)
200g cold smoked salmon
1 hot smoked chicken breast
150g Long Clawson Stilton
All delivered to your door for £35

Something that becomes a permanent in our house at this time of year is one of our whole Hams. It doesn’t stay whole very long due to the ridiculous number of gannets (otherwise known as loons) that we appear to have but it is a brilliant fridge filler and lasts for ages. So, I thought I would offer you a 1.5kg whole ham delivered to any door of your choosing throughout the whole of June for £35 which is a saving of over £13.

One of the things that sets the weekend apart from the other days of the week when one is lucky enough to be so busy is the tea and hot chocolates we have on our bed with the loons in the morning. These are always a great 20 minutes or so before one leaps from one’s bed. The conversation can be extremely varied is always lively and with Stanley and Edith’s input often bordering on the edge of totally insane. Nancy sits there quietly simmering about the fact that her brothers have for the 366th day in a row have woken her prematurely, Edith with her Unicorn eye mask pushed up onto her forehead (yes, she really does sleep with this on every night) so that the Horn looks as if it has grown out of the top of her head whilst she slept, explains which clothes she intends to wear and in what order. She usually has at least five changes throughout the day dropping the discarded outfits wherever the idea to change strikes her?! Whilst Bertie this morning decided it was time to write to David Walliams and ask why he had not written a book about a small boy who loved cricket and could he please do so immediately. Throughout this Stanley simply sang a song about Roman Numerals over and over again until a pillow had to be removed from his mother’s grasp as by the look in her eyes, she had every intention of reducing us back down to three children from four! Other subjects that are usually discussed are what roast we will have on Sunday, again this tends to end in at least two out of four looking as if they have had a limb removed as they wanted beef not the decided upon pork. But through all of this nothing is more divisive and dangerous than the discussion of what film will be selected for the family film night that we have on a Saturday evening. Last week it was Stanley’s choice and with great excitement he selected something titled “Trolls 2” it clearly felt and sounded as if it would be right up there with walking on Lego barefoot as an enjoyable experience but to everyone’s great surprise it was almost bearable and the majority were so entranced that I was able to have a crafty kip without being spotted! This week however was Bertie’s choice and once we had established that “The School of Rock” was an actual film and not somewhere he would simply like to go to it became clear to me that I may well not make it home as by some cruel stroke of luck one of the cold rooms would stop working and I would have to spend the early part of the evening waiting for the engineer to arrive. It appears that my chiller saved me from a terrible fate!!

Just as a little aside, one of the saddest things about leaving this house will be for Charlie to say goodbye to her garden especially her Ox-eye Daisies. So, I thought I would send you a quick picture as this year they are truly magnificent.

I hope you all have a lovely Sunday and enjoy the Ham and the June box which are now available on the website.

And remember if you ever meet someone who once wrote a song about Roman Numerals please remind them never to set foot in Somerset. They are not welcome!

My very best regards to you,