Merry New Year from a jolly chilly Somerset.
I have to confess to being rather hopeless when it comes to actually physically seeing the New Year in and fear that I have not managed it for 4 or 5 years! Mrs P has always been of the opinion that its an overrated and an anticlimatical pastime and this coupled with the fact that we are very rarely not in bed by 9pm and asleep by half past was a reasonable body of evidence to suggest this year (last year) would be no different. How wrong I was! At breakfast on New years Eve Nancy (14) and Edith (11) were behaving with a somewhat worryingly and slightly out of character sweetness that would have made Mr Willy Wonka himself blush. This, when aligned with a helpfulness and charm that appeared to be oozing out of every pore of their bodies would have led even the most hopeless of investigators to realise that something was afoot. Indeed it was! Having made their mother a delicious cup of tea and presented it alongside a freshly warmed mince pie they struck … “Mummy can we stay up until midnight to jump into the new year?”. The volume of my guffawing was quite something. The speed with which it then turned to dramatic choking (on my mince pie) on hearing their clearly, unbeknownst to me, deranged mothers reply was simply pathetic. “Yes of course you can I certainly won’t be but your father will stay up with you”. I sulked for apparently a good few hours before accepting my fate. All I can say is that I honestly tried, but by 10pm I was in real trouble and was extremely jealous of the deafening snores of Mrs P reaching us from overhead. I left them with James Bond doing his best to save the world and realised I should have gone much earlier as I caught them high fiving each other as I bid them a final good night!
So here we are into a New Year and no matter how determined the headline writers are to reduce us all to terrified glum and lonely beings I refuse to yield. To this end we have decided to have a ‘Jolly January’ and hopefully offer you a few things to bring good cheer. Firstly let me introduce our January Box. This contains: –
200g cold smoked salmon
4 x goose and plum sausages
2 x hot smoked trout fillets
200g smoked bacon
2 x smoked chicken breasts
All delivered to any well deserving and much needed door of your choice for £35
I have also decided to have a rather old fashioned sounding January sale to hopefully lift the spirits a little further and so
our whole sides of sliced smoked salmon will now be just £35 delivered to your door along with our unsliced sides which will be delivered for just £32 a saving of £10 in both cases. Remember they freeze beautifully and so don’t have to be fully consumed in one sitting.
I will leave you with a quick memory of this time of year from ‘way back when’. It was in my opinion undoubtedly the worst part of Christmas and the cause of the most dramatic rows when my sisters and I were young (and I fear adolescent too). The day our Mum said those dreaded words of “you need to write your thank you letters today”. It brought upon us a mood as black as a Dickensian workhouse. So it is with an unpleasantly sadistic joy that Mrs P and I inflict the same on our children and it appears to have exactly the same effect. You can judge this for yourself from the picture attached. If anyone suggests they won’t Mrs P reminds them of the rule that we ourselves apply. If no form of thank you missive is received there is no present sent the next year! This always gets their pens working again as the thought of no presents next year is clearly too much for them to bear!
Don’t let the doom-mongers win, lets crack on with ‘Jolly January’ and remember it could be worse you could have just been informed that toady was the day to write your thank you letters!
My very, very best regards,