Good Morning from Pattisson Towers, where I am at the end of what has been a glorious week off. A lot of cricket has been played and grass cutting carried out as well as managing to escape to play not one, but two rounds of golf. The first of these was worryingly good by my standards and I’m glad to report that the second I reverted back to my usual form and barely hit the ball above shin height! As in all things I then spent the next 24 hours trying to work out what exactly went wrong and came to the conclusion that it is clearly the length of my hair! You may think this sounds like an appalling excuse for not being able to launch a small white ball into the air but the constant sniggering on ones backswing coupled with what can only be described as the sound of someone eating crisps very loudly right behind me as my long locks move back and forth over the microphones on my hearing aids makes it an almost impossible game! At least I was spared the nightmare of one of my great mates and playing partners Bill (usually a brilliant golfer) who having drawn his enormous driver from his bag on the first tee proceeded to launch his ball about fifty feet into the air and gazed at the horizon down the middle of the fairway (as we all did). It was quite a shock when we heard a ball land very close by and realised he had moved his ball no more than ten feet forward and twelve feet to his right. We are a friendly bunch and have all been there so the volume and slight hysteria of the laughter that greeted this shot followed by the amount of folk that felt the need to photograph him playing his second shows what an awfully cruel sport it can be!
The Team have reported that it’s been a slightly gentler week at the smoke following the wonderful madness of getting all the Easter orders away last week. The April Box has already proved jolly popular and is available for delivery to any door of your choosing. As of tomorrow we appear to be taking another huge stride back towards our previous lives with the opening of hostelries and restaurants and our freedom to go and actually drink a pint poured by someone else albeit with four layers of clothing and a woolly hat on. To mark and celebrate this I have decided to offer FREE DELIVERY ALL WEEK from now until close of play next Sunday. You don’t have to have delivery this week you just have to place your order and even if you don’t want it delivered until August it will still be free as long as you place the order this week.
Finally, I thought I would share with you one of the bizarre behavioural cross overs I have observed this week between the kingdom of animals and male children under the age of 10. It appears that one of the most traumatic events that can befall either species is that of having their nails cut. Olive our 3 year old lurcher (with far too much Labrador in her) literally starts to shake as soon as she sees the instruments of torture. Bertie simply appears to disappear from the postcode district without trace. With a significant amount of planning and whispered codes passed between Mrs P and I both were carried out in quick succession yesterday afternoon. It took no less than three of us to do Olive, who is still not speaking to me as it’s always me that has to wield the clippers. Bertie had to have most of his cricket kit removed with the threat of forever over him before he finally yielded. I can happily report that both still have the correct amount of fingers and feet and the blood spilt won’t be missed by either!
I hope you have a relaxed rest of Sunday and are able to make the most of the FREE DELIVERY this week.
My very, very best regards,
JessBack to news