Good Morning, from my kitchen table which is even cleaner than usual due to Edith (11) & Bertie (8) appearing to have regressed to their toddler years and apparently being utterly unable to have a vestibule of liquid anywhere near them without emptying its entire contents absolutely everywhere! Mrs P and I have come up with a plan to hopefully arrest this behaviour by announcing, when it happened yet again this morning, that the next person to do it will be forced to drink from a Tommee Tippee baby beaker for the following week. Having thought this was an inspired idea I now fear that there is almost an inevitability of that person being me. We are all in one piece here having had (from my point of view due to my skiving off work for three days) a lazy but productive week. I was quite rightly kept a good distance from the home-schooling and was made Catering Manager and chief garden labourer. To my horror Mrs P let the boys loose with hand saws with which they were allowed to help clear a lot of bramble and dead wood, as well as a significant proportion of a significantly out of control holly tree. The saws were then discarded as a rather aggressive game of sword fighting pirates developed using the aforementioned holly off cuts. The end was inevitable but fun to watch while it lasted and as I said to Mrs P we should just be grateful that the idea had not struck them before they had dropped their saws!
It has been a wonderfully busy week at the smokery with so many making sure that they got their Jolly January Boxes ordered before they disappear tomorrow. It has also been lovely to see so many folk making the most of the FREE DELIVERY offer which has been available all week for not just orders to arrive this week but also for Easter and beyond. FREE DELIVERY is only available until Midnight tonight so whatever you would like to send, be it gifts for folk bored out of their minds in their lockdown cells or sides of salmon for feasting days on the horizon, as long as you order them before the end of today you will receive FREE DELIVERY on all of them.
Finally, I thought I should return to my missive of last Sunday where I alluded to the anger and revolution that had engulfed Pattisson Towers due to the total lack of Snow that the loons felt they had been promised. Mrs P in a moment of madness had promised that I would build an indoor cardboard bob sleigh run on the stairs. Many of you have responded in the week wanting to know what the outcome was! I have attached photos of the Cardboard Cresta Run and its utterly mad participants. No one died or was even significantly injured although there was a moment when we identified a significant need for more bean bags and duvets at the bottom to prevent anyone actually catapulting themselves through the window at the bottom of the run\stairs! Edith in particular took it incredibly seriously and is now considering a career as an Olympic Skeleton Bob rider! She is on occasion a tad competitive and a win is very much a win whatever the scenario. A good example of this was her determination to enter a school competition this week which was who could pull the funniest face. When I returned on Friday night I was greeted by a triumphant Edie with high fives and a good deal of fist punching. It crossed my mind that this was possibly a tiny bit of an overreaction of such a low key and gentle competition – this thought was magnified a good deal when her mother pointed out to me that Edith had been the only entrant!
I must away as Olive the dog needs walking and I have promised Edie that I will totally destroy her at UNO before lunch. I simply do not know where she gets her competitiveness from?!
Have a lovely Sunday.
My very, very best regards,