JP’s Sunday ramble & smokery update 7th June 2020

I hope you are in good order and have not been blown away in the last 24 hours?  It always amazes me quite how fast the weather can change and I have gone from shorts a T-shirt and three fans on in the office back into jeans and a jumper and no fans at all!


We have had a good week here with the June Box and the Whole Baked Ham proving immensely popular.  It’s been a great week too as we have had a couple of really lovely thank you letters from folk who have sent parcels to their ‘lockdowned’ and isolated friends and relations.  One was particularly special as it was sent specifically to Amber thanking her for her help and patience in taking and placing orders for a lady and how much she appreciated it.  There was a little something enclosed which Amber put towards a riding lesson on Saturday morning.  When she arrived later, she did suggest that Sam her sister had put her through her paces to such an extent that I may need to relocate her desk downstairs on Monday as she was unlikely to be able to walk come Monday morning!  I look forward to watching her ascent of the stairs which should give us all a good giggle to start the week off.


After much thought and with the feedback on the May Box being so amazing, we have decided to let it run for another week which means our special offers are: –

The June Box, the Whole Baked Ham and now the continuation of the May Box which are all £35 delivered to a door of your choosing respectively.

Along with all our other goodies which are all available to peruse at your leisure on our website


It has been a week in which a distant childhood memory of mine was awoken due to the horrible fall and emergency hip replacement that an old family friend of ours and Charlie’s parents has undergone.  I have become a ‘meals on wheels’ provider and deliverer.  When I was young (“the dinosaurs roamed” is the phrase that my children always chorus and genuinely believe is comedy gold!) in the early eighties, I remember helping my Granny (an earlier Nancy Pattisson) who I totally adored, deliver Meals on Wheels to the elderly and infirm in Peasmarsh near Rye in East Sussex.  She had a bright yellow Mini Clubman with wood panelling down the sides and always struggled a bit with any form of breaking as her mad semi rabid dog, a Shelty called Sindy, would sit by her feet as she drove wedging herself between the pedals and the floor of the car!  I will forever remember the smell of what I always assume was over cooked mince, instant gravy,  boiled to death vegetables and the rattle of the tin lids that were placed over all the hot plates of food we were to deliver as we careered around another blind bend in Peasmarsh on the wrong side of the road and due to the lack of brakes took to the hedges to avoid  head on collisions as our cargo crashed and spilt all over the back!  I have no idea why my Granny was the main delivery person as it always seemed to me that she was older than most of the folk we delivered to!  She was the most wonderful lady who played golf into her eighties and somehow kept a full driving licence until it was no longer required.  I hope the quality of the food that I have delivered is a little higher than that of Peasmarsh in the eighties but I would be lying if I said I hadn’t wished I was doing it in bright yellow Mini Clubman with my Granny.

The loons have been on fine form this week with a new morning routine of Yoga as a post breakfast pre home schooling lessons activity.  Apparently, it was Bertie’s teacher Miss Middleton who suggested her whole class log onto a site and do the fifteen-minute class.  Some of them taking it more seriously than others with Edith and Stanley throwing themselves wholeheartedly into it. Bertie tried but found hysterical laughter rather a hindrance to the whole experience and Nancy refusing point blank to have any part of it as “the lady on the screen is so patronising its unreal!”  I enclose a picture.  Last Sunday I managed the rare bird of nearly a whole day off which was almost totally dedicated to playing cricket.  We now play in the lane outside our house rather than the garden as the cost of lost balls being dispatched over fences was becoming a quite significant financial drain on the Pattisson household.  It was a long, very hot day as I bowled almost continuously at all four loons who all took great pleasure in achieving the milestone of “my first lockdown hundred”.  I ended up with a bowling analysis of umpteen overs, no maidens, 4 wickets for 570 runs.  The old adage that “ you can’t bat when you’re laughing” which my dear friend Peter Came would offer up on the very rare occasion I managed to get him out (he was a seriously good player) does not appear to be true when it’s your own offspring hitting you to all parts!


Apologies for the length of these ramblings as ever I appear to have significantly digressed!


I hope you have a restful day and a good week ahead.

My very best regards,