Mrs P’s hair & golfing

Good morning, by the time you get this I will hopefully be a third of the way round the golf course having the round of my life.  I have little doubt however that the reality will be that I am standing on the 6th Tee wondering if it is actually possible to get any wetter and when and how I phrase the question to my partner Ian as to how many spare balls he has as I have already lost 5 and only have 3 left!   The glorious Mrs P has given me a pass to abandon her and the loons today and play the game I am appalling at but love.  Hence I am writing this to you this morning in the company of Stan, as he is the only one awake, whilst the rest are still snoring overhead.


It’s been a busy week at The Smokery with the Asparagus Box and Whole Hams proving to be hugely popular.  I do however have to admit to possibly missing a trick as if we had been selling umbrellas this week I think retirement might have been beckoning by now!  One of the lovely things this week is the genuine uplift we have heard in peoples voices and spirits as they place orders for family gatherings next weekend.  So many folk preparing to see people they haven’t seen, let alone hugged, for over a year and doing it surrounded by all sorts of delicious food and drink.  We are among them ourselves as at the end of this month my folks are coming to stay for half term which is beyond exciting and we can’t wait.  Our food is perfect for all those alfresco reunions and indeed for the indoor ones too.  So whether it’s a Whole Ham, a Hot Smoked Side of Salmon, the whole selection of our pates or just some Potted Shrimps as a starter you can order all of them on the website at or call Amber in the office on 01458 250875.


Finally, I thought I would share the news that after seven months Mrs P finally managed to get an appointment to have her hair taken in hand yesterday morning.  Being a girl in possession of the most amazing curls, the like of which on occasion resemble bed springs, the longer it has got the more exciting it has become!  So whilst the loons and I dropped Nancy at the smokery for her days work and we walked the dog Charlie set off for Yeovil and hair redemption.  Unbeknown to her I may have accidently taken the odd photo of her hair and its management over the last few weeks as well as the glorious vision that returned to us yesterday.  I’m clearly a lucky chap and as nearly all my so called friends have told me many, many times over the years am “punching above my weight”.  Be that as it may I feel it is my civic duty to share these photos with you.  It may well now be becoming clear that me being on a golf course and uncontactable when you, and indeed she, reads this missive this morning is not entirely coincidental or indeed accidental.  On that basis if it turns out that I have entirely misjudged Mrs Ps mood and sense of humour this may well be the last you ever hear from me!


I must away as early morning tea needs delivering and my escape to the first tee needs to be made!


I hope you have a lovely restful Sunday and wonderful reunions you may have planned over the next week.


My very, very best regards,



Seb’s dream purchase & Harry Potter

Good Morning, I hope you are in good order and were not washed or blown away yesterday?  Thankfully one of our crew is now equipped with the perfect vehicle for such weather it even has a snorkel which protrudes from its midriff!  It turns out that since, the now 6ft plenty, Seb was a wee boy he has had a poster of a Land Rover Defender on his wall.  For me it was Ian Botham and Seve Ballesteros but each to their own and anyone unfortunate enough to have seen me drive will know that the combustion engine, how it works and what shell with four wheels it propels is a conversational topic that for me is only useful as a guaranteed cure for insomnia!  However, when Seb arrived at work this week literally bouncing with excitement and a smile “the size of Saturn”, to quote Anya – a friend of Nancy’s, we had to follow him out to the carpark to see what the cause of his joy was.  The answer was that after a huge amount of saving and searching he is now the owner of his very own 1996 Land Rover Defender.  It appears that dreams do come true, although, just for the record I never played cricket for England or won the Open Championship!


It’s been a wonderfully busy week here at The Smokery with the Asparagus Box proving to be as popular as ever.  I adore asparagus and although its been a hugely hard start to the season for the growers with all the relentless frosts and cold it has been worth the wait as the asparagus is sublime.  We deliver 2 bunches of it along with Smoked Salmon, Smoked Duck, Trout Fillets and Streaky Bacon to any door of your choosing for just £35.  Our Whole Baked Ham is also proving hugely popular which is on special offer of £35 delivered which is a saving of £12!  So on the basis that the sun has to come out and it has to warm up eventually why not treat yourself or one of your pals to one of the above.


Finally as you may remember we finished reading the final Harry Potter book to the boys last week.  Once over the trauma of it all the ‘What to read next?’ conundrum very quickly arose.  The decision was The Chronicles of Narnia and already I have been cast in the role of Nikabrik, an evil Ice Queen worshiping dwarf.  Poor old Mrs P the role of  the cruel and evil Ice Queen, harsh casting but just between us there are a couple of similarities!  The boys have shown no shame at all in Bertie taking the role of “Peter, The Magnificent” and Stan the slightly lesser role of “Edmund, The Just”!?  Dog walks maybe quite an ordeal for the next few weeks as Stan is insisting on maintaining his role at all times and we had to prevent both boys attacking a poor unsuspecting citizen tending their allotment from being attacked and murdered for apparently plotting to kill Aslan the Lion, after a few mumbled apologies and an offer of some delicious asparagus and salmon I am quietly confident that a charge of assault against my sons has been averted?


I must away as there is Pork to roast and what looks like being the coldest cricket match in Christendom to get Bertie delivered to.

I hope you have a restful Sunday.


My very, very best regards,



Sunday ramble – cricket & desk assembly

Good Morning, I write to you beyond early his morning whilst I hope you are still in the Land of Nod.  The reason for this is that Bertie has his first ever ‘proper cricket match’ later and he and his teammates have to report at Chard CC at 9.30am to play against them in the cup.  After much ‘umming’ and ‘ahhring’ and slightly against his father’s wishes he was presented with his first ever cricket whites last night which he then promptly slept in such was his apparent joy!  His father was roundly demonised and almost reported for child cruelty when he suggested that he had played his first ever games in shorts and then grey school trousers and why couldn’t Bert do the same?  I don’t know who his father was to suggest such a terrible thing but he was left in no doubt at all that apparently times have moved on in the last 40 years and making children stick out like sore thumbs in front of their mates is no longer good character building stuff but is basically abuse!


I appreciate that the impending weather forecast for many of us later today and tomorrow is apparently one of doom and Armageddon BUT it is May and so we must be positive that glorious summer weather will be with us imminently and to that end I have decided to put our stunning Whole Baked Hams on special offer for the whole of this month to help with the ingredients of all those picnics and light suppers of ham, egg and chips that we resort to so often at this time of year.  It is 1.5kg ham and will be delivered to any door of your choosing for £35 which is a saving of £12.  Alongside this our Asparagus Box will be available all the way until the end of the asparagus season it is a brilliant gift to anyone who deserves it or indeed to yourself and I highly recommend it.  It contains: –

2 x Bundles of Asparagus

2 x Hot Smoked Trout Fillets

200g Streaky Bacon

100g Smoked Salmon

1 x Whole Hot Smoked Duck Breast

All delivered for just £35


Nancy decided this week that she wanted her bedroom to feel more snug and homely as due to the ever increasing amount of homework she spends so much more time in there poor thing.  So she enlisted the help of Edith her sister, who reorganises her room almost on a weekly basis, and they set about it with I have to admit a good deal of success! She chose a new desk with her mother which was delivered yesterday in about five huge boxes and according to the instructions should take “two practical people three hours to assemble”.  Mrs P looked at me brightly and said well with the weather forecast as it is we can do it all day on Monday!  Edith who adores what I used to call woodwork and is now called Design Technology has announced that she is in charge and “don’t worry Daddy it won’t take long at all!”.  Meanwhile Stanley has gathered together a good deal of the polystyrene and cardboard and built Hogwarts School and a quidditch pitch which takes up the entire kitchen floor.  I appear to have no escape and if we are still a family of six by Tuesday morning I will have achieved a thing of greatness!


I hope you have a good deal more restful bank holiday weekend than me and that somehow we all live to tell the tale!


My very, very best regards,