Drinking lego & Test match delayed!

As I dragged myself from my bed this morning, I say my bed when actually it was Stanley’s bed. He is still of the firm opinion that from any time after midnight wandering in to our room and putting his face as close to mine as possible until I wake, see him through one bleary eye no less than an inch from my face, leap at least a foot in the air and desperately try not to wake his mother on landing, that actually my bed is his and vice versa! Anyway, I digress as I looked out of the window to see a good deal of soft refreshing rain, I remembered that of course it was raining there is meant to be a Test Match starting today against the West Indies! So, what I thought would be a glorious day of packing orders, making pate and listening to Test Match Special will now be much the same tasks but with the dreaded Radio One blaring in the background instead! When one feels so grumpy about such disappointments, I fear one must really be getting a tad old!?

However, it also means that it is Wednesday and that in order to make sure you get anything you need for your gastronomic plans in time for the weekend you only have 24 hours left to place your order to ensure you do.

The JULY BOX has astounded us with its popularity (hence I’m making mackerel pate for a good part of the day). It has smoked salmon, whole duck breast, trout fillets, sliced ham, smoked nuts and mackerel pate all wrapped packed and delivered for £35.

Alternatively, if you are thinking BBQ, we have buckets of goose and plum sausages, salmon steaks, smoked Halloumi, pork belly or smoked mackerel which all are all perfect for it. 

As long as you order by midday tomorrow you can have as much or as little as you like delivered in time for any weekend feasting you may have planned.

Have a lovely day and remember never assume that the cup next to your five-year olds bed is water … a mouthful of Lego people and coins is not good at 2am!

My very best regards,


Aunty Molly, Tik Tok & July!

I write to you this morning from a West Country which is a good bit fuller than it was 48 hours ago! Having headed North on the delightful public highway the A303 for a short while yesterday morning the net worth alone of stationary caravans, surf boards, bicycles and roof boxes would I suspect go a good way towards clearing off the current deficit being looked at in Whitehall.  It would also appear that as in all other things we have now joined the folk on the other side of the pond in yet another of their celebrations by going mad on the ‘4th of July’.  The times are most certainly changing and with every sinew crossed and all single magpies ignored our lives appear to be allowed to gently start again, which in the end is simply the very best news.

Certainly here in our household it has brought about some changes, the most significant being that Aunt Molly (my sister in law) who has had to totally shield throughout, decided she could not survive any longer without hugs from the four loons.  She discovered, and purchased, something which for obvious reasons has been christened her “banana suit” which when she is fully enclosed in it enables her to hug and squeeze them all to her hearts content.  I missed its first outing but am assured by Mrs P and my mother in law that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house (garden).  I asked Stan this morning what his views were on it to which he replied that it was very funny, but I won’t do it again as she didn’t smell very nice!  I attach a picture.


The JULY BOX seems to have caught everyone’s attention and I was delighted to find myself packing them as fast as I possibly could for despatch on Thursday afternoon.  I think we can safely say that, unlike my good self when wandering about on a cricket field, this is a really good all-rounder.  If you missed its first mention on Wednesday here it is again: –



200g cold smoked salmon

1 x whole smoked duck breast

2 x hot smoked trout fillets

100g x smoked cashews and almonds

200g sliced baked ham

100g smoked mackerel Pate

All delivered to any door of your choosing for £35


Everything can be ordered on the website www.brownandforrest.co.uk or over the phone Monday to Friday 9am – 5pm on 01458 250875

Finally, I thought I would share an ordeal with you that Charlie (my wife) and I had to endure a week or so ago.  In this world there is something called ‘TIK TOK’ I am assured that most of the developed world is entirely au fait with it and knows exactly what it is.  I did, and still do strongly dispute this, but as history has since related it would certainly appear that sadly there are rather a significant number of folk who do indeed know what it is and how to use it!  For those of you that don’t it is basically a method of taking some poor bewildered, probably over tired and definitely naive parents, dressing them up, taking them into their garden and asking them to strike odd poses and stand in strange places whilst continually nodding their heads and then filming them doing it.  I know, I know the questions of “why on earth would you?” and “do you have any control over your children?” followed quickly by “how much do you drink?” are all incredibly valid and all I will say in our defence is simply that a very strictly observed lockdown, two daughters who appear to be nearly as scary as their mother and possibly too many glasses of something delicious over Sunday lunch appeared to have been enough to make us yield.


The end result was something no one can possibly imagine but most horrifyingly of all a good many folk don’t have to as the three oldest sent it to their classmates and their form tutors as an example of ‘something creative’ they did over the weekend.  Social services have not come calling yet but I fear it is only a matter of time. I’m afraid a picture is attached.


I hope you have a wonderful gently eased lockdown week and remember if anyone of the younger generation walks towards you with a smoking jacket and a Viking helmet under one arm and an iPad under the other, run and hide!

My very, very best regards to you.



June ends, a lovely picture & reports!

Good morning from a rather damp and stormy Somerset.  After the extreme heat of the middle of the week, it was rather a relief to have the temperature drop almost as fast as the torrents of rain we had here on Thursday night.  It is safe for me to admit to this now but the first thing I thought when woken by the noise of the rain in the middle of the night was quite how bad/horrendous a mood poor Amber would be in as having cut and turned their hay earlier in the week they were planning to bale and store it all on Friday!  So it was a relief when having sent my commiserations to her first thing on Friday morning to have a reply of smiling faces saying they had got it all in by midnight on Thursday!


It has been a rather strange week at The Smokery as I was stealing a few days off.  The huge heat makes a very old building an extremely hot and hard place to work and then one of our number had a huge sadness out of the blue.  I am always impressed by my amazing team at the smoke but their compassion and maturity in helping one of their own acknowledge, deal and then react to such news has been simply outstanding and I have never been more proud of them.


We are now entering the last few days of what has been our popular June Box and our Whole Baked Ham offers so if you would like to order one for any date in the future then you only have until close of play on Tuesday to do so.  Remember you can specify a date you would like your order delivered, so for example if you wanted to order a ham for Christmas delivery you could do that and still receive this months offer price, you just have to order it by Tuesday!  I was delighted with how many people took up the offer of the Trout Box this week and I will definitely do similar offers in the future as it seems a sensible way to introduce folk to products they might not usually try?


When I returned from the Smokery late yesterday afternoon Charlie said that someone had delivered a present to the door but that she had no idea who as Bertie had answered the door and as usual he was “away with the fairies”.  Upon opening a beautifully wrapped parcel with a ribbon and brown paper I was truly moved to find a hand drawn picture of our house on the lane we live on in our village.  It is perfect and very poignant as we are soon to leave a house we have loved and lived in for a good few years.  The card simply said “Thank you for keeping us going with fruit and veg through the worst of the lockdown”.  Delivering food boxes of various shapes and sizes to peoples doors locally in the evenings seemed a tiny and sensible thing to do if folk needed it, and was never a hardship in anyway at all.  So to receive such a special gift for such a small service has completely thrown me and as ever moved me to tears. Thank you Gill Cox it will always be up on a Pattisson wall from here onwards.


Finally, it was with some trepidation that Charlie and I opened the envelopes that it transpired contained the boys school reports especially having experienced first hand this week the nightmare that is home schooling!  Apparently losing your rag and suggesting in a slightly raised tone (definitely not shouting) “how do you not understand that?” is not a good technique and is clearly jolly frowned upon by both student and his mother!  It appears we needn’t have worried as both boys have clearly managed to pull the wool over their respective teachers eyes.  It was when we informed them how chuffed we were that the trouble began.  In our house if your first ever school report, at the end of your first year, is a good one that child can choose an overnight trip and treat.  The three previous winners of this family award have done such things as the Natural History Museum, Tower of London and Bristol Zoo.  Stanley however decided very early on where and what he would like to do and to our horror has not waivered at all.  Thankfully he seems to be taking the news very well that purely due to Covid 19, and no other reason, we are unable to take him to the Amazon river and Rainforest although his sisters Edith and Nancy have decided it is hugely amusing to explain that the world is opening up in July and to ask again then!


I hope you have that you have a good week ahead.


My very best regards and remember assuming your child will get a bad school report could be a very, very costly mistake!



Trout box, Bertie & roast lamb!

I hope this finds you in fine fettle and that a good and jolly Sunday lies ahead for you.  I am already rather over excited as one of the big treats for Father’s Day, which I received on Friday evening, was to be allowed the huge honour (in our house) of selecting the main ingredient of today’s Sunday Roast.  As a result, there is a shoulder of lamb at home that has been in the oven since 7am and is by now a good way into its slow roasting journey.  I have also received the most delicious looking bottle of Bordeaux to go with it so I apologise now if this is missive is a little more concise than usual but I am desperate to get home and get feasting!


We have had a lovely week here at the Smoke with everyone in good order. Tim is a new man as we have finally had the Wi-Fi downstairs sorted out and he no longer has to stand on one leg, with one arm in the air and his tongue sticking out in order to get any sort of reception.  Amber managed to have Friday off and Tyna and Steph managed to exit the building before 6pm on at least two occasions which is a rare treat indeed.  As for me I actually manged to swing a golf club in anger for the first time in eight months on Wednesday afternoon which was a joy.  The promised thunderstorms duly arrived and as we wondered up the 13th fairway a huge flash of lightning overhead did make me turn to one of my playing partners and suggest we were completely mad.  He simply looked at me and said in a very serious tone and his strong Somerset accent “Tis only sheet lightning – that can’t kill you”.  I stood corrected and we played on.  However, I did chuckle to myself that should he be misinformed it would form the most wonderful epitaph on all four headstones.


I had a funny conversation with a lady earlier this week who had ordered cold smoked trout by mistake and rang me to say how utterly delicious it was and that she now had a new favourite that she would never had tried but for her cumbersome fingers on her keyboard.  This got me thinking that in my humble opinion all things trout are slightly passed over and are genuinely delicious and slightly different.  Tim suggested we should do a TROUT BOX offer this week to give you a chance to try all versions of our amazing trout in one go hopefully without breaking the bank.  I am delighted to offer you for this week only: –


Trout Box for just £26 delivered to your door it will contain: –

200g cold smoked trout

2 x hot smoked trout fillets

1 x 200g trout pate


We appear to be moving at breakneck speed towards July so I thought I would also remind you that our June Box remains available for one more week as does our Whole Baked Ham which can both be delivered for a total price of £35 each.

Finally, I thought I would tell you about a lovely road trip that Bertie (8) and I had yesterday.  We went up to Berkshire to visit some great friends of ours who have just finished building the most amazing winery and wanted me to see it.  With the weather set fair so that we could be outside all the time we set off.  We had the most brilliant morning and their daughter Charlotte entertained and ran Bertie ragged.  When it came time to leave, I was somewhat shocked to see a large box of “junk that Bertie says he would like to take home” being manhandled into the car.  As you may remember we are soon to be moving house and the general direction that ‘junk’ takes is out of the house not into it.  As we neared home I felt an unmistakable wave of anxiety building up as I began to rehearse the explanation I would offer to Mrs P regarding its arrival in the homestead.  I needn’t have worried Bertie was miles ahead of me and from the moment we pulled into the drive he took on the role of Father Christmas greeting and gathering his siblings with cries of “look at the presents I have bought for you” he somehow pulled it off, although I am still unconvinced that there is an essential need of a pink flamingo handwarmer and a bright yellow cushion disguised as an emoji in our lives?


I am away to pull the cork on that bottle of Bordeaux as the acceptable hour of alcohol consumption fast approaches and I’m convinced I can actually smell that lamb from five miles away!


Have a restful day and remember sheet lightening can’t kill you (allegedly) and life is not even close to complete without a pink flamingo handwarmer.

My very, very best regards to you.



JP’s Sunday ramble & smokery update 7th June 2020

I hope you are in good order and have not been blown away in the last 24 hours?  It always amazes me quite how fast the weather can change and I have gone from shorts a T-shirt and three fans on in the office back into jeans and a jumper and no fans at all!


We have had a good week here with the June Box and the Whole Baked Ham proving immensely popular.  It’s been a great week too as we have had a couple of really lovely thank you letters from folk who have sent parcels to their ‘lockdowned’ and isolated friends and relations.  One was particularly special as it was sent specifically to Amber thanking her for her help and patience in taking and placing orders for a lady and how much she appreciated it.  There was a little something enclosed which Amber put towards a riding lesson on Saturday morning.  When she arrived later, she did suggest that Sam her sister had put her through her paces to such an extent that I may need to relocate her desk downstairs on Monday as she was unlikely to be able to walk come Monday morning!  I look forward to watching her ascent of the stairs which should give us all a good giggle to start the week off.


After much thought and with the feedback on the May Box being so amazing, we have decided to let it run for another week which means our special offers are: –

The June Box, the Whole Baked Ham and now the continuation of the May Box which are all £35 delivered to a door of your choosing respectively.

Along with all our other goodies which are all available to peruse at your leisure on our website www.brownandforrest.co.uk


It has been a week in which a distant childhood memory of mine was awoken due to the horrible fall and emergency hip replacement that an old family friend of ours and Charlie’s parents has undergone.  I have become a ‘meals on wheels’ provider and deliverer.  When I was young (“the dinosaurs roamed” is the phrase that my children always chorus and genuinely believe is comedy gold!) in the early eighties, I remember helping my Granny (an earlier Nancy Pattisson) who I totally adored, deliver Meals on Wheels to the elderly and infirm in Peasmarsh near Rye in East Sussex.  She had a bright yellow Mini Clubman with wood panelling down the sides and always struggled a bit with any form of breaking as her mad semi rabid dog, a Shelty called Sindy, would sit by her feet as she drove wedging herself between the pedals and the floor of the car!  I will forever remember the smell of what I always assume was over cooked mince, instant gravy,  boiled to death vegetables and the rattle of the tin lids that were placed over all the hot plates of food we were to deliver as we careered around another blind bend in Peasmarsh on the wrong side of the road and due to the lack of brakes took to the hedges to avoid  head on collisions as our cargo crashed and spilt all over the back!  I have no idea why my Granny was the main delivery person as it always seemed to me that she was older than most of the folk we delivered to!  She was the most wonderful lady who played golf into her eighties and somehow kept a full driving licence until it was no longer required.  I hope the quality of the food that I have delivered is a little higher than that of Peasmarsh in the eighties but I would be lying if I said I hadn’t wished I was doing it in bright yellow Mini Clubman with my Granny.

The loons have been on fine form this week with a new morning routine of Yoga as a post breakfast pre home schooling lessons activity.  Apparently, it was Bertie’s teacher Miss Middleton who suggested her whole class log onto a site and do the fifteen-minute class.  Some of them taking it more seriously than others with Edith and Stanley throwing themselves wholeheartedly into it. Bertie tried but found hysterical laughter rather a hindrance to the whole experience and Nancy refusing point blank to have any part of it as “the lady on the screen is so patronising its unreal!”  I enclose a picture.  Last Sunday I managed the rare bird of nearly a whole day off which was almost totally dedicated to playing cricket.  We now play in the lane outside our house rather than the garden as the cost of lost balls being dispatched over fences was becoming a quite significant financial drain on the Pattisson household.  It was a long, very hot day as I bowled almost continuously at all four loons who all took great pleasure in achieving the milestone of “my first lockdown hundred”.  I ended up with a bowling analysis of umpteen overs, no maidens, 4 wickets for 570 runs.  The old adage that “ you can’t bat when you’re laughing” which my dear friend Peter Came would offer up on the very rare occasion I managed to get him out (he was a seriously good player) does not appear to be true when it’s your own offspring hitting you to all parts!


Apologies for the length of these ramblings as ever I appear to have significantly digressed!


I hope you have a restful day and a good week ahead.

My very best regards,




New June box & ramble!

I hope this finds you well and that this wonderful sunshine is keeping your spirits up in the good zone. I’m afraid I don’t know what number that is on the latest Government scale which I believe the country hinges on but on the basis that the lower the number the better I’m aiming at the floor for you!

It’s been a very, very warm week here at The Smokery with Amber and Steph demanding electric fans to keep their humour somewhere near bearable and poor old Tim looking like he has been wrung out by the end of every day having been stood by a roaring open fire for most of them. Tyna has caused a little bit of a stir with the shortness of her shorts, this is a competition you will be relieved to hear I have decided not to enter, as if I did, I think a possible arrest for exposure may follow! They are all in great order and judging by the merciless leg lifting at Friday’s cold beer team meeting nearly all at my expense, they are in excellent spirits too.
I am delighted this morning to introduce the new JUNE BOX
We have tried to come up with something that hopefully helps with alfresco dining, picnic subliming and cold cut divining!! (apologies for that I think the heat might be getting to me!)

It contains: –
140 g of Pastrami made with glorious British beef brisket
200g of Somerset traditional cheddar
4 pork and parsnip sausages (these have been roasted over an open fire so can be eaten as a cold cut or reheated)
200g cold smoked salmon
1 hot smoked chicken breast
150g Long Clawson Stilton
All delivered to your door for £35

Something that becomes a permanent in our house at this time of year is one of our whole Hams. It doesn’t stay whole very long due to the ridiculous number of gannets (otherwise known as loons) that we appear to have but it is a brilliant fridge filler and lasts for ages. So, I thought I would offer you a 1.5kg whole ham delivered to any door of your choosing throughout the whole of June for £35 which is a saving of over £13.

One of the things that sets the weekend apart from the other days of the week when one is lucky enough to be so busy is the tea and hot chocolates we have on our bed with the loons in the morning. These are always a great 20 minutes or so before one leaps from one’s bed. The conversation can be extremely varied is always lively and with Stanley and Edith’s input often bordering on the edge of totally insane. Nancy sits there quietly simmering about the fact that her brothers have for the 366th day in a row have woken her prematurely, Edith with her Unicorn eye mask pushed up onto her forehead (yes, she really does sleep with this on every night) so that the Horn looks as if it has grown out of the top of her head whilst she slept, explains which clothes she intends to wear and in what order. She usually has at least five changes throughout the day dropping the discarded outfits wherever the idea to change strikes her?! Whilst Bertie this morning decided it was time to write to David Walliams and ask why he had not written a book about a small boy who loved cricket and could he please do so immediately. Throughout this Stanley simply sang a song about Roman Numerals over and over again until a pillow had to be removed from his mother’s grasp as by the look in her eyes, she had every intention of reducing us back down to three children from four! Other subjects that are usually discussed are what roast we will have on Sunday, again this tends to end in at least two out of four looking as if they have had a limb removed as they wanted beef not the decided upon pork. But through all of this nothing is more divisive and dangerous than the discussion of what film will be selected for the family film night that we have on a Saturday evening. Last week it was Stanley’s choice and with great excitement he selected something titled “Trolls 2” it clearly felt and sounded as if it would be right up there with walking on Lego barefoot as an enjoyable experience but to everyone’s great surprise it was almost bearable and the majority were so entranced that I was able to have a crafty kip without being spotted! This week however was Bertie’s choice and once we had established that “The School of Rock” was an actual film and not somewhere he would simply like to go to it became clear to me that I may well not make it home as by some cruel stroke of luck one of the cold rooms would stop working and I would have to spend the early part of the evening waiting for the engineer to arrive. It appears that my chiller saved me from a terrible fate!!

Just as a little aside, one of the saddest things about leaving this house will be for Charlie to say goodbye to her garden especially her Ox-eye Daisies. So, I thought I would send you a quick picture as this year they are truly magnificent.

I hope you all have a lovely Sunday and enjoy the Ham and the June box which are now available on the website.

And remember if you ever meet someone who once wrote a song about Roman Numerals please remind them never to set foot in Somerset. They are not welcome!

My very best regards to you,


Sunday’s ramble & JP’s hair update!

I write to you this morning from my own kitchen table which is quite a rare treat. It may also turn out to be a challenge as these two lines have so far taken me half an hour due to one request to separate two bits of Lego, two requests from Olive, the dog, to be let out and back in again, and one application of stern words to Edith that should she resort to physical violence again on either of her brothers over what hideous piece of music ‘Alexa’ plays next, she will have a long and lonely day in her room!

I hope you are well and that you are enjoying what seems to be a rising tide of optimism regarding the loosening of these shackles we have all been wearing to greater or lesser degrees over the last couple of months. It is amazing what a bit of hope does to lift the mood a little and remind us that this bizarre time we are living through is of course only temporary and not forever. I do appreciate that this is clearly not the case for everyone and that poor old Mr Cummings may well now be wishing that he had not insisted on the full company car package as his private mileage declarations for April are proving a tiny bit tricky to advise away!!

We are all set for a busy week ahead with it being the last week that our Asparagus and May boxes are available. The English Asparagus season is drawing to a close which does nothing to improve my mood as I simply adore it. And of course our May Box will finish as the month does next Sunday. So if you would like one or two more hits of asparagus, smoked salmon, duck breast , trout and streaky bacon you only have until close of play on Wednesday to ensure you get one. The same applies to our whole sides of sliced smoked salmon. All three of these can be delivered to a door of your choosing for just £35 but once we get to next weekend they will be gone. I will of course have other lovely offers and ideas for you but more of those next week.

Finally, news from the homestead which is on the whole observational this week and yet no less concerning because of it! There are two meals in our house that are pretty much set in stone and are both pillars of the reputed day of rest Sunday. The first of these is Breakfast. Mrs P gets to have that holy grail of luxuries an uninterrupted bath with her book. I prepare the five different dishes requested?! The one common denominator being hot croissants. There is one commodity that appears on this table that is absent any other day of the week, this is the dreaded Nutella! The problem arises when the said Nutella jar is nearly empty and all four of the loons become and start to behave as jumpily as a box of frogs. All four sets of eyes never leave the jar following its every move and with ever increasing looks of horror as they watch a sibling potentially have the last scrapings. Deep sighs ring out, and if you are sat in the wrong place you can feel nothing short of a huge desire to run and hide! This pack behaviour is repeated a few hours later with the Nutella replaced by the volume of gravy that is on the table. I love to underfill the gravy jug leaving plenty in the roasting tin just for the pleasure of pouring nearly all of it onto my plate and passing Nancy the dregs in the bottom and innocently apologising and saying I thought she “had already had some” . This can lead to a whole rest of day silence and sulk if I let it with her siblings laughing heartily before realising how appalling it would have been had it been them without enough gravy! Apparently world domination, wealth and status has the same effects on ‘grown ups’ and I rather like the fact that mere Nutella and gravy are sufficient at Pattisson HQ.

A month or so ago I mentioned my concern over the length of my strawberry blond locks. The girls have insisted this morning on showing how serious the situation has become. (pic attached I’m afraid)

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday and keep smiling rumour has it that some sort of end may be in sight?!

I’m off to make vats of gravy and check my monthly mileage has no skeletons hiding from Mrs P in it.

My very, very best regards,


Ramble & a limerick this week!

Good morning from deepest Somerset where the silage has been cut everywhere we look and the smell is simply glorious.

I won’t pretend that everything is glorious mainly due to my two daughters Nancy and Edith who insisted that the best way for me to “chillax” when I got home from The Smokery yesterday evening was to give me a glass of something delicious and chilled and usher me into my favourite chair. They of course were absolutely right and for five minutes it was a total joy. However, they then announced that their chosen viewing was the Eurovision Song Contest! I confess I spilt a little of my wine at the speed I sat up but then took great pleasure and relief in telling them that it was cancelled this year. The smugness of their smiles and the evil in their eyes should have told me that all was lost. The replacement programme that the mad, mad makers of Eurovision created instead of the real thing was possibly two hours of the most appalling and arduous viewing I have ever seen. I am told it is a music programme and I can honestly say that of all the thousands of notes that were sung, wailed and screamed at me not a single one was anything but flat!! My mood is a tiny bit improved but not much!!

I’m not convinced it is likely to improve much today either as I have been ordered to be home by 2.30pm at the latest, as the Pattisson side of the family – my folks, sisters, nephews and nieces are to hold a poetry competition! One we were all given three weeks to write a masterpiece for and today is performance and judgement day with a little help from the dreaded ZOOM communication system! I have to admit to having reverted to the tried and tested methodology that I applied throughout my academic career, namely leave it until the day before it has to be handed in!! For inspiration I reached out not to Tennyson or Byron but instead to greatest of them all Spike Milligan and his favoured form of prose the Limerick!! After about 10 mins thought whilst making vats of salmon pate (delicious by the way) this is what I came up with and is my entry

The Virus called Covid descended.
The world was entirely up-ended,
No Pubs, no sport and nobody taught.
Even Boris succumbed,
but he mended.

I like to think Spike would be proud and if it doesn’t win it’s a travesty!!
We have been hugely busy again this week and the May and Asparagus boxes are proving so popular with many of you saying such lovely things about how you and your friends have been enjoying them.
They are both available until the end of May along with all our products which you can order online at www.brownandforrest.co.uk or call Amber in the office from 9am tomorrow morning on 01458 250875.

Finally, a little news from the homestead where Bertie has been immersing himself in all things Boudicca and her neighbourly dispute with the Romans a while back. Stan has latched onto this and as in all things felt the strong and brotherly need to take the part of the leading Celt protagonist?! He is an actor of the method variety and when he takes a part on has to apply it to all parts of his life be it dog walking or indeed table manners, to watch him eating a chicken leg at the Sunday roast with not a knife or fork in sight is a truly shaming experience as a parent and makes me never more grateful for lockdown! We didn’t really have the heart to tell him that the one major error in his characterisation and historical accuracy was that Celts were unlikely to have carried light sabres! A photo of ‘Stan the Celt’ is attached.

I hope you have a restful Sunday and remember if anyone offers you a petition calling for the immediate banning of Eurovision, please, please sign it!

My very best regards,